//Fun + Mental= Fundamental//

A try out. Refurbishing my webbie. Thinking of using this as the flash intro.

//I Am Hummingbird//

What's On - The Substation - Brochure July to Sept 2009

Only recently finalised. This brochure should be out on the stands pretty soon.
*After being in suspended animation for the longest time, its about time I update this blog.
Brushing up my skills on illustration. I hope I still got it*

//Spread the Greenery//

I love trees too! Lets all come together for a good cause.

Planting trees for free to heal the earth.

Here's a poster taken from TreesForFree.org. I love how they embodied our community and
their destructive nature + lifestyle within a single entity in black and white which epitomizes
life without the luxuries of greenery.

This poster portrays our seemingly colourful life in black and white.
It highlights the polluting nature of our lifestyle and urges you to plant trees to
offset the carbon emissions you're responsible for.


Source: www.treesforfree.org

//What's On!//

:For Substation:
Recycled my illustration. Lazy.

//Equilibrium and Predilections//

When one is consumed by rage and sadness, our minds will be clouded, our thoughts will be in unabated turmoil and our words will be filled with contempt. Our actions will always be thought of as a quick-witted move, hoping to tackle and rectify the matter at hand. But is it really what we want? I am not a perfect person. Neither is everyone else. I made many mistakes in my life of which I am not proud of. Yet I conveniently pushed the blame to another person when there are slight turbulences especially if it is due to my own doings. Do we sometimes think that what we are doing is for the sake of the greater good and that we have probably been wise about the decisions at that pivotal moment? Usually when problems arise, our probable future flashed past and we questioned ourselves if that is the life we want. I believe myself to be a strong-headed, stubborn, temperamental and ambitious person. I always want my way and I fight for what I believe is right. But do I really think it wise to make such a reckless decision? I thought it was. Nothing or no one else matters to me. Rolling over and begging me to scratch your bellies never worked for me. I grew tired of the life I had. I could not wait. I wanted change. I needed a different life. I long for freedom and I only wanted out. Nobody understood why things happened and started assuming. But I never cared. They will only slow me down, I say. Selfishness clung onto me, whispering for me to walk on by. And I did and I never looked back.

Life was bliss, I thought. I have achieved equilibrium which I have a strong predilection for. I have never felt freer and neither do I have regrets. ‘No attachments’ were first on my list of things to do before I turn thirty. I was contented with my life. I pushed myself to be better at what I am good at. Be it socialising, working, constantly climbing the ladder to the top with my own sweat. With these achievements, I feel a sense of satisfaction knowing the fact that I worked hard to overcome hurdles and on my own. My life is a labyrinth. I trusted my gut feelings and make my way through every turn. Sometimes, ending up at a dead end is inevitable yet I did not falter. Not yet. Pushing myself to go on was numero uno for me. I wanted to be strong and I became too strong for my own good. Choosing not to show signs of weakness is already a weakness by itself. Stubbornness. My lethal defence mechanism. Often succumbing to my temper does not help. I should simmer down.

Each day passes by in a blink of an eye. Separation, holocaust, friendship, infatuation, unification and a reunion. Everything do happen for a reason and I am thankful. We needed time apart to settle our indifferences and to realise our flaws, making ourselves a better being. Seeing the world on our own helped us attain clarity and realise how much each other meant to us indefinitely. I have come to realise that I have initiated distances all the time and that was the one thing I refuse to see then. Again, my stubbornness and selfishness played their roles very well. Our lessons in life unfolds in different forms; sadness, disappointments, regrets, delights, contempt, solemn. HE wanted us to learn but we decide. For, at the end of every path slowly yet surely wisdom will unveil itself. Optimism plays a good role. Smile. Smile. And smile. Do I forgive those who has done me wrong? Everyday. Forgive and live on. Dreams, attachments and subliminal thoughts of the past held us closer subconsciously, emotionally. We never knew that, until our path crossed once more...and despite all that we have gone through leading separate lives, we never quite forgot each other did we?
“And I thank thee above for this chance to make it right again.”

//Moth Man Prophecies//

A man found a cocoon of an emperor moth. He took it home so that he could watch the moth come out of the cocoon. On that day a small opening appeared, he sat and watched the moth for several hours as the moth struggled to force the body through that little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and it could go no farther. It just seemed to be stuck.

Then the man, in his kindness, decided to help the moth, so he took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The moth then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings. The man continued to watch the moth because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time. Neither happened! In fact, the little moth spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly.

What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the moth to get through the tiny opening was the way of forcing fluid from the body of the moth into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon. Freedom and flight would only come after the struggle. By depriving the moth of a struggle, he deprived the moth of health.

Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If we were to go through our life without any obstacles, we would be crippled. We would not be as strong as what we could have been. Give every opportunity a chance, leave no room for regrets.

- Unknown

//Works Which Were In Themselves Poor Have Often Proved A Stimulus To The Imagination//

Chance upon one of my artworks for GameAxis online while googling my name one sunny day. (Yes. Sometimes I come up with random ideas just to kill time. Now don't tell me no one has ever done this.) Woke up from my oh so unconscious state of mind, physically staring at the computer screen sending subliminal messages to myself that I should just slack the whole goddamn day leaving the dept in chaos.

*reading the profile over and over and over again*

My personal profile seemed peculiar though. Don't remember writing them that piece.

//I LOVE EMILIE//

I love her music!!!! Thought I'd give a shout out to the smellies.

//Sleepless Nights, Kopi and Teh Tarik//

:Urban Planning for China. For a seminar. Animation:

Sleepless nights. Coffee. Sleepless nights. Coffee. Teh Tarik. Bread. Blasting music. Emails. Sleepless nights. Coffee. Light snacks. Graphs. Colours. Coordination. Emails.
The fundamentals to conceive this project. One of the most challenging ever.

//Supposedly Moroccan//

:For my bestie:

Moroccan theme.
What do you guys think of bronze hotstamping against a cream Pulplin RJ?
Peacock feathers pasted over a purple Pulplin RJ?
Want a design to become a stunning piese of communication?
Defenestrate me if these do not work.

//Monochromatism//

:Acrylic and house paint on canvas:Inspired by the idea of monochromacy.

I got tired of my bare whitewashed walls at home and thought,
'Better do something before the dad does something.
He can be a teeny bit too "creative" at times'. Very unpredictable.

Excuse Me Lil'Ms.Fit

:excuse me:
Drew some, snapped some, executed one.

Burn Baby Burn

: Lashez on Wood in grayscale:

Line drawing on a wooden board. Stained with soot and very simple
(Tried wiping the stain off but I was afraid the ink might come off man)
Still, I think it deserves a place on my blog as space fillers,
for the sake of updating this blog.

Toucan Toucan Bo Moucan

: Toucan Scribbled Montage :

Was in the mood to customise my desktop background.
Toucans, I assumed, would make a good head start.
Photoshop, drawn, scribbles, scanned and so on...

Little Miss Stubborn

When I was a little girl...
I asked my gramma to eat trash coz
she irritates me
When I was a little girl...
I pushed my grampa so
he would quicken his pace

When I was a little girl...
I lied for the first time and
had chillies shoved up my mouth

When I was a little girl...
I got too creative
my mom asked me to clean
the drawings off my neighbours' door

When I was a little girl...
I got too smart
my dad beat the hell out of me
I didn't speak to him for hours
When I was a little girl...
I wanted to run away
I packed my clothes in a piece of cloth and
tie it to the end of a stick

When I was a little girl...
I dreamt I could fly
I jumped down a flight of ten steps
causing five stitches on my forehead

When I was a little girl...
I was testing my leadership skills
I taught my younger siblings how to
climb the window grill

When I was a little girl...
I ran after a shower
I slipped and fell on my front teeth

When I grew up...
I looked back and realised my mom
must have exaggerated some details,
she made me sound worse than a lil' brat

Kanina.

Dishevelling, disbelieving and nerve wrecking. What a day, what a day, what a mighty lousy day. I almost knocked a man down. What atrocity. The horror! But I have to admit, I am exaggerating a little, especially when I mentioned ‘I almost knocked a man down’. I wasn’t the driver, the brother-in-law was. We were moving at moderate speed when a man crossed the road slowly as if he was the almighty. Matted in super heroic proportions, the bro-in-law stepped on the brakes just in time to see the almost so-called accident victim breezed away spouting curses to us all. My mom almost passed out, my sis was speechless, a total opposite of her flamboyant self and I practically saw my heart pounced out of my chest, onto the granite road, rolling passed the double yellow line still beating at remarkable speed, crying. Fucking cibai, we almost hit the bastard, but it was definitely not our fault and neither was my brother-in-laws driving skills not up to the road safety’s capacity. He's a pro for gods sake. The bugger appeared out of nowhere. Even a ‘blind’ girl like me could see that the fault lies in the nutcase. Imagine the worst case scenario, the nutcase lying on the road in a pool of blood and witnesses swarming around like bees. That would have caused traffic jams and I immensely despised slow traffic. Seriously, I could not care less what comes after. Imagine the questions. The bugger deserves it. If I was driving, I would have stormed out of the car with a crowbar, knock the fugly bugger on his head, give him a piece of my mind, ”KAU BUTA KE!” and some tips on how to “widen your eyes” before jay walking. WHAT AN IDIOT! A pity. It would have been fun watching my brother-in-law screwing the bugger with myself as back up. I am such a hoodlum. Sheesh am I all shook up of what might have happened. Worse, witnessing an accident is bad enough, but being involved in one would have been…frightful? Another adventurous day? Perhaps. Fortunately nothing happened and the day goes on without a flaw. Tra la la.

Soiree...

: Cenderawasih. Black, Turquoise, Gold.
A special request for a friends' bday soiree. HAPPY BIRTHDAY PEEPS! :
NOTE to beeyol buggers: This is just for show on my blog, not an invitation to the soiree, capice!

Random Upload

:Uploaded random project(s) for the sake of updating this dormant blog:

Hikmah

Nightmare. Definition. A dream based loosely on feelings of intense fear, horror, and distress. An event or experience that is intensely distressing. A demon or spirit once thought to plague sleeping people. I believe, in my own little way, that it is a subconscious reflection of a deep thought and/or impression of an entity or event. Of which this statement is in question. ‘We cannot prevail what we cannot predict’. Or can we? Strange things have been happening to me of which I cannot decipher. Dreams I cannot fathom. Nightmares? Or perhaps visions. Prayers alone will not suffice. Dreams of a burning house, or an accident of which seemed realistic and probably surreal can also be true either partially or whole. Once I disregard these petty dreams as child’s play but regarding it ‘petty’ is a misnomer. Though a tendency of dreams being forgotten is high, a dejavu never fails to occur now and then. Enigmatic. I never thought of myself as a seer or one who sees divination. Clairvoyance? Not even when my visions became true of which I feel remorseful. One would conclude the fact that I am probably endowed with profound moral and spiritual insight. But I would prefer it to be mere coincidence no matter the counts. Lets not discuss it specifically. The dogmas of the stormy past are inadequate to the quiet present. The urge to tell the tale was decent, at least only for the ones closest to me.

An old friend once told me that in your sleep, red symbolizes a warning. In addition to the dream I had of fire, envisioning red last before my assets engulfed in flames in a matter of minutes was a shocker. Life seemed so cruel at that point. Withdrawn, melancholy, oblivious and depressed, isolation was the best solution. And for once in my life, I have never felt so despondent, vulnerable and lost that I was unsure of my own strength in overcoming the holocaust. It seemed beyond my capacity. The urge to cry was inevitable but even a single tear at that pivotal moment could have shattered someone’s heart when you are considered the pillar of strength. A shoulder to cry on was badly needed, a scream would have sufficed, and a hug would have been sufficient but my pathological narcissism flared up in time to give me a quarter strength not to falter, at least, not in front of the loved ones.

Hikmah. It means wisdom in Arabic. Was commonly conveyed by relatives and friends for comfort or to express sympathy at times like this. People believe that with each downfall, comes great wisdom. There is a reason to everything and good things are never far behind. As nonchalant as I can be at times, I believe it to be precise. Though almost all was lost, life itself took a better turn thankfully, and my karma moderately skyrocketed henceforth. To me, it takes a holocaust to know the limitations of your strength, the bonds of a family and your true friends.

For the compassion, loyalty and love, for being my pillar of strength, for keeping my feet on the ground, and for showing me that nothing is impossible in this world, I truly salute. Hearts out to the strongest person I have ever known, one whom I greatly respect and for being the nicest most understanding person in my entire life, my mom.

Its Definition

In the sense, "sequence of sensations passing through a sleeping person's mind," probably related to "dream(s)," perhaps from "deception, illusion, phantasm" to deceive or delude a ghost and/or apparition. Possible cognates outside - "seek to harm, injure, lie, deceive." But dream(s) meant only joy, mirth and possibly music. Common words for "sleeping vision". Much study has failed to prove that dream is the root of the modern word for "sleeping vision," despite being identical in spelling. Either the meaning of the word changed dramatically or "vision" was an unrecorded secondary meaning of dream, or there are two separate words here. It seems as if the presence of dream of joy, mirth and music, had caused dream(s) to be avoided, at least in literature. "Sleep" was hence used as a substitute. I remarkably discovered that dream(s) in the sense of "ideal or aspiration" was first abbreviated in 1931, from earlier sense of "something of dream, like beauty or charm". Dreamy in the sense of "full of dreams;" abbreviated in 1941 as "perfect, ideal." Dreamboat "a romantically desirable person" is from 1947. Dreamscape was first used in 1959, in a Sylvia Plath poem.